Real Stories of the Subway Patrol
Written: Nov 30 '00
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Product Rating:
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Pros: Public transportation options
Cons: Too many people
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| AlexG's Full Review: New York City |
Any Given Weekday was the runner-up title for this review. Or to be more precise--Any Given Weekday from 7am to 9am and from 5pm to 7pm inside the New York City subway.
The scene reminds me of Billy Joel's Piano Man with slightly different words that go something like...
It's 8 o'clock on any day other than Saturday
Regular crowd shuffles in
There is an old man (and many other folks) standing next to me
Let the Subway Seat Wars begin...
(Ok, Sunday is excluded too, but why should that interfere with a good rhyme)
I take the subway every weekday morning to work and I want to share with you some of my observations. This will give you a good idea about one of the socio-economic aspects of New York City residents.
As soon as the doors of the train open I enter into the world of social Darwinism, where the survival of the fittest takes a whole new meaning. It's the world where every commuter is for himself or herself. It's the world where tactics, platform positioning, reaction, speed, good eyesight, and downright impudence make a huge difference between sitting on your ass and standing on your feet for more than an hour. The stakes cannot be any higher. Some folks are so impressive that I think their rushing (to the seat) average per day is better than some of Cleveland Browns' rushing backs.
Let's go through the mind of a regular sleep-deprived, late-for-work, over-my-dead-body people-pushing, seat-hungry rushing back...err...subway commuter, who is more likely to be a middle age human (not sure about that, actually) of a female gender.
In baseball, scouting is extremely important. Before the game, a pitcher gets a report on every hitter of the opposing team-each one's strengths and weaknesses when it comes to high and low pitches and different corners of the plate. Scouting is equally if not more important in Subway Wars. In order to maximize her chances, the commuter not only have to be the first in line for the train but she also have to know where to stand on that line. Different corners of the plate...err...platform have a different rate of success. Through experience and research the commuter knows the architectural layout of the preceding stations. She easily determines that the cars that stop near the exits of the preceding station tend to be more crowded and therefore have less empty seats available. She also realizes that she is not the only one on the platform aware of this important information. Thus, the calculation of the best possible platform position requires a complicated mathematical formula, which must be kept in strict secret.
Storm front's coming...
By the time the train arrives and the doors open, the troops, baptized by fire of past days, are once again ready for combat. There are 4 doors in every car of the train that open simultaneously. Here is where quick reaction is very important. The sooner the soldier...err...commuter can get inside the sooner she can examine the situation and take immediate action. The thoughts going through her mind probably go like this:
"Oh, thank God, here finally comes the train. Ok, gotta get ready now. I only wish the doors open right next to where I am. Then I will definitely get the seat. Come on, come on. For the love of God, please don't leave me in between the doors. Oh, great, looks like I'm in a good position this morning. Damn, I see the competition getting ready to attack through the other door. I see that b*tch who got ahead of me two days ago. This time, she ain't gonna get it. No freaking way. Over my dead body. I'm too old...no, too weak... no too smart... yeah, to stand here for an hour. Nothing's gonna stop me now."
From the perspective of someone already on the train, the opening of the doors is like the opening of the horse gates for the Kentucky Derby. Down the stretch they go. Who will be the winner today and can someone actually win the all-coveted Quintuple Crown for winning a seat every day of the workweek?
I look at these people every morning with a healthy doze of cynicism and pity. It is amusing and sad sight. Don't get me wrong; if there are seats available I sit down myself. But I would never lower myself to the point of fighting for a seat. And it is my observation that the majority of people on the platform are ready to do just that. Is this only typical to New York? I don't know. Perhaps. It would be interesting to read other observations in the comments section.
Recommended:
Yes
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Epinions.com ID:
AlexG
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Location: New York, NY
Reviews written: 130
Trusted by: 237 members
About Me:
Alex has a voracious appetite for travel. Travel hasn't satisfied an appetite. It's created one.
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