Cephalopods = 1, Celluloids = 0 -- Return to Neverland
Written: Feb 26 '02 (Updated Oct 31 '02)
Product Rating:
Pros: Pop, Pop, Pop -- the Octopus! And spunky Jane.
Cons: Old characters stuck in the '50s.
The Bottom Line: The most memorable character was that fluid, blobulous, Octopus. Worthy of a video – but not 20 dollars in tickets, 8 bucks in popcorn and 3.50 bottle of water.
As Steve Crikey Irwin opens the envelope to learn the name of the winner of Best Cephalopod, the camera pans to a tuxedoed Squidward, the erstwhile star of Spongebob Square Pants, with his clarinet and acceptance speech in hand.
And the winner is crikey! Octopus from Peter Pan, Return to Neverland!
The telltale pop pop pop of this massive orange eight-tentacled beast can be heard descending the aisle, as Squidward fumes.
For me, folks, the most memorable character of Peter Pan, Return to Neverland was that fluid, blobulous, wide-mouthed orange Octopus. The rest was worthy of a video but not worth 20 dollars in tickets, 8 bucks in popcorn and 3.50 (!) for a bottle of water.
I wont bore you with the details of the plot Im sure you can find that in some other review or at the incredible flash motion website you can link to via the manufacturers link above. Suffice it to say Jane, Grown Up Wendys daughter, is too serious (its easy to become that way when your dodging bombs in WWII London) and needs a trip to Neverland to get high (read fly) and embarrass Captain Hook (who is easily embarrassed).
Peter Pan annoys the heck out of me, anyway you should know this, because it would taint the review, I imagine. Blayne Weaver makes Peters voice sound mockingly arrogant in a taunting 12-year old boy way. Wendy as a grown up is too much like Glenda the Good Witch (which surprises me as she is voiced by Kath Soucie, who voices the brusque ubermom Betty DeVille on the Rugrats). And Tinkerbell well, jealousy never worked well on me. And shes jealous as ever in this sequel. And the animation of all three characters is unfortunately rather dated. I understand you cant mess with the original too much, but with all the popular music Disney has infused in this, I think they could be a bit less 1950s.
At least the 50s played well on Captain Hook. He is wonderfully voiced and animated and gets to do all kinds of slapstick calisthenics worthy of the ACME award of stupid non-human tricks. And Mr. Smee is, well adenoidal, red-nosed and droopy as ever. And thats fun.
It is the new characters who shine here. Janes eye rolling and how ridiculous face scrunches are delightful accompaniment to her dutiful character, accentuated by the wonderfully animated voice of Harriet Owen. Her determination is a wonderful paradox to her stubborn inability to fly with a little faith, trust and pixie dust.
But my favorite character of all is the Octopus. Come to think of it, my favorite character in The Little Mermaid was Ursula. Maybe I am a cephalopodophile. He has a very simple face of eyes on sticks and a big, gaping, flagellating mouth. He is gleeful in his pursuit of food, and in his eyes, each character that comes close enough appears as a big, juicy fish which makes his two fondue eyes pop open as he lunges for dessert. Whenever he approaches or departs, his soundtrack includes a musical and oddly seductive puckering pop sound, matched in rhythm by his eyes pumping up and down like a vaudevillian act.
Though the kids enjoyed this film, I really could have held out for the video, I think. But for one scene featuring the Jolly Roger dodging the Luftwaffe over the sites of London, it wasnt worthy of the big screen. Im kind of surprised that Disney would waste the effort on this film it really seems more like a direct to video venture.
Now, if Squidward had played Captain Hook that would have been a different film!
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