Understanding others is sometimes easier than you think.
Written: Dec 31 '08
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Product Rating:
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Pros: Excellent look at human behavior from a world renowned jury consultant.
Cons: Book could be interpreted the wrong way.
The Bottom Line: One of the important things that this book reinforced is that you need to be around people if you want a better understanding of their behavior.
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| cntaur5's Full Review: Jo-Ellan Dimitrius and Mark Mazzarella - Reading P... |
Have you ever heard of the techniques for "reading" people within the first couple of minutes of meeting them? This might sound like something the fictional Matt Parkman on NBC's Heroes would say if using his super mind reading abilities on however in the mix of all the fiction their may be a grain of truth. Reading People: How to Understand People and Predict Their Behavior- -Anytime, Anyplace by Jo-Ellan Dimitrius (Author), and Mark C. Mazzarella (Author) could be the book that bridges the gap when it comes to understanding people and calculating their behavior. This 281 page hardback book is fairly easy to read and should not present a challenge for avid readers or individuals interested in this subject matter. This twelve chapter book could be the key to reading people just like a book (no pun intended) as it explores "how to understand people and predict their behavior anytime, anyplace". The authors come primarily from a jury consultant’s perspective and a trial lawyer. Dimitrius is recognized as one of the nation’s “leading jury consultant” and based upon her intensive jury interviews she imparts some of her findings and work. One could argue that most of us have a general understanding of one another however the very idea of putting this information to print offers some worthy reading. I found the authors writing style natural and wordy, with understandable discussions that were easy to follow.
After the introduction, “A Passion for People” the authors open with chapter one titled, “Reading Readiness: Preparing for the Challenge of Reading People” with seven suggestions to "reading people." Chapter one describes in detail the approach and technique required if an individual wants a better grasp of other people. One obvious example shared is the premise of spending time with people. While this sounds pretty obvious there are always people who keep the office door closed yet they want to know what’s going on with their coworkers or staff. Looking at the numerous ways to communicate clearly demonstrates how easy it is to have a lapse in objectivity and it’s the lapses that blindside us when it comes to other people in our lives. The authors ask their readers to open their mind to their environment and surroundings when making the best choice about others presenting a wealth of time test strategies for flushing out people.
The most interesting chapter in the book is chapter 7, “Why Did You Put It That Way? Finding the Hidden Meanings in Everyday Communication”. The simple introduction uses two examples, one a bird sitting in a nest and the other the snake lying in the grass. Like the author I am a firm believer that “there are many parallels between how people interact and the dynamics that occur in the animal world”. I think it’s important that we evaluate the entire person when it comes to interconnecting. Like the animal world people can be ferocious when they are sarcastic, gossip, exaggerate and brag about things they have done or have not done. Whenever someone is sarcastic or braggadocios it’s not harmless as they are expressing a strong emotion or opinion when they don’t want to be honest. The authors suggest sarcastic people are insecure people who are tying to be manipulative. The overall chapter delves into some weighty material as it discusses some people’s inability to poke fun of themselves and others who make self-deprecating jokes.
The least interesting chapter is chapter 3, “First Impressions: Reading Physical Appearance and Body Language”. Much to their credit the authors do note that it is impossible to list every physical trait and body movement, however some of the details feel mundane. Auspiciously, when it comes to looking at basic body language the chapter does a good job covering the basics. Another saving tidbit is the discussion on the influence of drugs and alcohol which complicates recognizing someone’s inner character. However the chapter tackles, “A Bad Attitude or A Bad Hair Day?” with a solid discussion on Kinesics and this is where it again feels tedious. Fortunately the remaining chapters uncover some of the hidden messages in a person’s tone of voice, dress, facial expressions, hygiene and habits tying into everyday circumstances we all face.
One of the important things that this book reinforced is the idea that you can’t focus on any one characteristic or trait when observing people because what people display or do can be misleading. The authors also provide memorable stories that are applicable and helpful especially if you have difficulties understanding people’s demeanor and actions. For those who feel their skills at reading ordinary people are getting a bit dull, I recommend you get this book if nothing else it’s good canon fodder for the coffee room.
Bottom line, I enjoyed Reading People and I’m giving it 4 out of 5 stars. It runs into a little trouble with its dated scenarios and the fact that some of the authors claims about human behavior, lack the evidentiary research to back certain assertions. In addition it looses a few points for its do-it-yourself theme, which could lead to trouble for some scenarios. At any rate it’s worth checking out, especially if you want to have some general ideas as to why some people do the things they do and there are some useful tips on how to make sound decisions and are helpful.
ISBN: 9780345504135
Publisher: Ballantine Books
Recommended:
Yes
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