Have you ever met an adult with diapers on?
Jan 13 '00
Small children depend very much on their immediate environment. As well as they do with their little things "they possess and control". In a very young life there are not many things that are consistent (parents need to be!!!) or "reliable" (why do I always get a big NO?). So many things are new (daddy's Palm Pilot can not swim in the baby pool, what a pity), overwhelming (10 aunts with exactly the same screaming voice), seem dangerous (hopefully the right things), too noisy (football games), too cold (don't wash my hands please), not smooth enough (yak! - daddy's chin in the evening), don't talk back (stupid cat) or are simply strange (why the heck does daddy bite into mom's mouth again?).
In those years, when everything changes constantly and every day is just packed with adventure, learning, disappointments and unbelievable joy, there are not many things of trust left. But one: my diapers! Always smooth, always warm and comfortable, always there for the small and bigger "business" and always mine. Yes, part of this little personality that needs to have something stable, something of trust, some comfort and confidence. And a diaper is the one thing that is known for every small child BEST. Because it's always there! Try to imagine that for a minute.
Now, the adults world approach this little-big thing, that means a world of feelings and comfort to the little ones in a sense of something unhealthy, to get rid of. Something YAKKY. How in the world do you expect acceptance from your child for your approach? So, I believe you need to incorporate this little minute you have just taken to imagine sitting there in front of your high-tech computer screen with diapers on and UNDERSTAND the importance of diapers to your child.
There are several good reviews on this issue here. Some are a bit too hesitative, some go a little too far. At the end of the day it all melts down to the very LIVING and history of the diaper experience of your child. It is certainly out of question to "sell" your child all natural, biological processes as something disgusting. On the other hand your child needs some encouragement to learn to do the "business" the adult's way. That is, where the potty training comes into the play.
Use creativity! Invest some bucks in some nice equipment (e.g. funny potty chair, meeting your child's interest and attention) and play some games around this issue (use what ever your child may make giggle but spend close attention and would lead to the goal, e.g. a favorite doll or stories about your childhood, how you learned it etc.). If you have older children you may not have such a hard time as they model anyway for the younger children. Try to explain the meaning of it, using a clear, understandable language. And: you need to relax. If someone will pick up on any tension within you - then your child!
NEVER, NEVER, NEVER set your child under pressure! P L E A S E !!!
It'll hurt more than it would help. No threats either! Let me ask you a question: have you ever met an adult still wearing diapers?
Don't let yourself get under any pressure by stupid and childish comments from others, you know the type of: "my Sunny could walk with 8 months already" … "my Angelina was potty trained with 9 months" and crab like that. What does that proof? Only that those parents have pushed their will through - most likely without a thought about their children's real feelings.
It may be appropriate (please don't if you have safety concerns for your child!) to let them run without diapers in the backyard (please, you all to careful and shocked Americans - have you been born with clothes on?). It would be great fun in any way and if "something" needs to go the natural way (out) - so what?! But there is a good chance to have them forget about the nice and comfortable feel in diapers and they may want to get rid of "it" a cleaner way. And: tell your observing, curious and disgusted elderly neighbor lady to just look away if she can not stand a little, cute, innocent, all natural human living real free for an hour or so. That should be manageable in the Land of the Free - don't you think so?
BUT: the moment you realize that your child does not feel comfortable without her/his diapers or would even "close" - please put the diapers back on and keep trying a different way. I have seen children in the neighborhood that experienced serious intestine-harm because they shut it up for days. Any way you try it, try to understand the importance of this for your child. You remove something very valuable from them. Even if this sounds strange, please take time. As I said: there are no adults out there that still wear diapers or have never learned to walk. It'll come when it's time! AND: there are no reports of older ladies that have been vomiting for days because they had to watch naked little angels in a backyard (though there may be some reports of elderly, rich ladies that became even richer by suing everyone and everything just for the sake of standing up for their "ethical beliefs" and their bank accounts, of course) - sorry, I couldn't resist…
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