Do Not Push Your Ways On Another
Feb 24 '00 (Updated Mar 26 '00)
This opinion is not against mother's breast-feeding. Breast-feeding is good for your baby.
The subject I am going to express on, is how some others feel when breast feeding in front of them. Oh, oh do not get your dander up right away and start an attitude. Stay opened minded and read on.
Some mothers feel so comfortable with it that they do not even consider how another individual may feel. Then there are the mothers who are considerate to others, who deserve a praise of Thank-You.
Ok, enough of the introduction and onto the issue. Why is it,if someone feels shy around a mother breast feeding that they are told "If you just get around it more you will be more comfortable?" Well, maybe that person does not choose to be around it because they are shy. Shyness is a part of a person's character. A mother who is breast feeding should not make that person feel like they have to be comfortable with it and ashamed of how they feel.
I am comfortable being around a mother breast-feeding. I do not feel it is right to push their choice to breast-feed on another.
One time I was attending a church, there were mothers who breast-fed present at each service. A new comer started visiting church, coming as a regular. My husband and I took some time to get to know this new comer. We learned this person was uncomfortable around the mothers breast feeding. No matter where he sat he still had to deal with it. This was true because I had two teenage sons at the time who were not comfortable with breast feeding either. We also tried finding a different area to sit in and our experience was the same. Eventually I had to face the fact that a individual has feelings that I need to respect. It did not matter what I said some were uncomfortable with it. I decided to go talk to the pastor to explain that some individuals are not comfortable around breast-feeding. There were other rooms the mothers could go to and still hear the service. Therefore, I suggested that the mothers who breast-feed should be asked to go there. Boy, "Let me tell ya," "Little did I know what an effect it would have on us." Well, the pastors reply was the mothers want to be involved right in the service and they do not like to leave. The problem we faced is the individuals who are uncomfortable with it are made to feel like they have to except it. Needless to say for stating my thoughts I got all of us all put on the black list (meaning from that day on we were noted as trouble maker's) and it did not stop there.
Another time we had saved enough money to go to an all you can eat type restaurant with some friends. The type of setting was where another person could sit down across the table from you if the seat was free. Along comes mom with the baby and lets the baby pacify not even covering herself up. Her husband tells her to use a blanket to cover up, but mom said no, it is too hot, the baby gets cranky. That is certainly understandable that the baby does get cranky when it is hot out, it would have been nice if the mom would have had some consideration for people around her. Her own husband was getting frustrated with the situation because the baby was not even hungry. I really felt uncomfortable for the husband and a few others at the table.
I have had mothers come to my house and start breast-feeding without even asking if anyone minded. Then when I explain to them that some of my company is uncomfortable with it,I get the it's natural, their is nothing wrong with it or they will get use to it the more they are around it. I offered them a room and depending whom was present I asked if they would just cover up. Boy, I have never had to put my foot down so strong until I ran into this type of person. It does not matter if it is natural, some people are just uncomfortable with it. It is like running into a brick wall stopping you in your track's trying to get that mom to understand that this person has a right to feel what they feel. No matter how polite I was, when I approached the mom it always turned into a big debate. I am so sick of the fact that someone does not have the right to feel uncomfortable with it. I have friends that breast fed and get so agitated with other mothers who have no consideration for others.
As for going to someones home and you know the mom breast-feeds I suggest to leave the room or do not go there if your uncomfortable. I seen an incident where a individual was outside talking to another person and had no idea the mom was inside breast feeding, minding their own business. The mom knew that person was uncomfortable with it and started making remarks about that person and how they need to get over it, putting him down in front of others for feeling uncomfortable. I felt bad for that person, he did not even have a clue what was being said inside about him.
Now some food for thought:
Just because it is natural does not mean people have to be comfortable with it. It is natural to go to the bathroom, but do you do that right out in the open and tell another to get over it? Sex is natural and that is not done right out in the open.
As the years have passed the convenience of refrigerators and stoves has been of great use. Do you use them? Well, then try using a breast pump.
It Is too hot to put a blanket on the baby? Does that mean others should be put in an uncomfortable situation?
No place clean to feed the baby in public? That is something that should be thought about before you put your self in that situation. Try putting your milk in a bottle for that type of situation.
Upset with people who do not agree with breast-feeding out in the public? Quit trying to make them except it and have some consideration for them.
Some mothers who breast feed have no consideration for others. Then their are the moms who are considerate enough to think of others. Who set a wonderful example of modesty. I applaud you for that. Thanks Mom's.
I do apologize if I have hurt or offended anyones feelings. That is not the purpose I wrote this. It is to shed some light that some individuals are afraid to admit they are shy. If someone is shy I do not think it is right to make them feel wrong for it.
I am not saying mothers do not have a right to breast-feed, or that it is wrong. This opinion is to reflect some insight that mothers who breast-feed should at least use some modesty.
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Epinions.com ID:
svnowak1
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Member: Vicki Nowak
Location: Washington
Reviews written: 20
Trusted by: 13 members
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