Picking a name - you love it, but will they?
Apr 10 '00 (Updated Apr 21 '00)
One of those unavoidable problems with pregnancy is that in about nine months you'll have a baby, and that baby will need a name. Picking a name for the baby will be just about one of the hardest things you'll ever do as a parent.
You want to bestow upon your child a name that sums them up in one or two words and makes people pay attention when they hear that name. What you'll also want is one that rolls of your tongue with the greatest of ease so when your trying to locate the child who dumped an entire bottle of shampoo all over the floor, everyone will know you're gunning after your child as they here his name screamed throughout the neighborhood. You don't want to call his name and have six kids show up at your door.
Let's be honest here, how many of us went to the hospital without a name for the baby (I'm guilty 2 out of 4 times). I even have friends who didn't name the baby until after they got home from the hospital. I also know that it's hard enough to name the first two, let alone any more that come along.
I would like to offer up some advice when it comes to picking name, not suggesting ones I like or have used, but rather ways to help you find the perfect ones and speed alone your decision.
First of all, we all know that as you thumb through those name books you'll have to toss away about half of them. Why, because they include names of past loves, friends with bad traits and well just names of people you strongly detest. No matter how much you like the name, you just can't help but see that persons face when you say it.
Get a big thick black pen to ink out all those choices.
Next, does anyone really care what a name means. Be real, how many times in your adult life have you been asked to stand up and explain what your name means. I was once in an English History class in college, so for that two minutes in made a difference, but for some 15 odd years the meaning of my name served me no purpose. Don't eliminate a name based on what it means - like the name for the way it sounds and better yet the way it sounds when you yell it at volume 100.
Don't name a kid anything you wouldn't want to be called. Please, kids tease each other - don't go into name picking thinking your child will have the thickest skin ever and be able to ignore the daily verbal beating he or she will take when you give them a name that you would have hated as a child. Don't give them a name they'll grow to appreciate, because they'll spend 18 years hating it.
Along this line, please think of all the possible nicknames that this name will bring out. Again, kids will be able to destroy any name in about 30 seconds but some will just leave years of teasing and torment open for the taking.
Try not to wait until after you have delivered to pick a name, because then you get into the "he doesn't look like a" argument. Does any baby really come out looking like the name you picked for them? No, but after the drugs wear off and few days it begins to grow on you.
Keep standardized forms in mind. Remember how many times you will have to write that child's name, and in triplicate once they go to school. We made that mistake with our first son whose first and last name are 20 letters long. He'll spend most of his educational life being cut off and not called the correct name. I get hand cramps filling out forms for him.
The name may be perfect, but check the initials - do they spell something bad or not nice. Oops, you may have to rethink that choice. While marriage may put you in that position, don't make your daughter want to rush into it just to change her initials.
As tempting as it may be, don't go for names that have a hidden meaning or phrase. My husband and I would laugh ourselves silly coming up with first and middle name combos that when put together would have a whole new meaning. Meet out daughter Tara Tory, or our other one Shonda Lear or our son EdWinn. We often thought about naming our last two Sonny and Cher just for the comic value - we knew they wouldn't appreciate it so we held back.
When going for unpopular names always bank on the name you think will not be popular as the one that will head up the list for the year you have your baby. We chose Trevor for our third son once again trying for an unpopular name, and it came out of nowhere to be one of the most popular names for the year he was born. (Frankly let me tell you I hated the name Trevor because every time I said it I saw the guy on All My Children saying Hey Doll and kept seeing his head on my baby's body."
My one pet peeve that I will interject, don't give a nickname as a real name. I know so many people who name a baby Katie instead of Katherine. Would you want to be 50 and still called Katie just because it's your given name - give the full name and pick or let the child pick the nickname.
Like I said picking a name is one of the hardest things you'll ever have to do when you are pregnant. By the time 40 weeks rolls around you won't be wanting to keep your legs closed for a few more hours until you can pick name. You need to approach name picking with clear rationale thought. You'll be bombarded with suggestions and will have to smile through them all.
You'll want to make sure that you have the perfect name for your perfect baby. It won't be easy to come with one up with one or two choices, but you'll have to buckle down and do it. Just always keep in mind you'll be yelling that name an awful lot, just make sure it's something you'll want to hear over and over.
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