Coping with death on a daily basis from the point of view of an emergency medical technician.
Sep 24 '00
I have read many good opinions written on the topic of Coping with Death. I want to write this opinion from a slightly different perspective. Not from the person who has suffered the loss, but from the point of view of someone who has to tell people that their loved one is dead. Working on an ambulance, this is a common occurrence.
Every time I receive a call on a cardiac arrest, I know chances are that their family or other loved ones will be around. As we work on the patient in cardiac arrest, normally family members will be around. I try to let them remain in the room if they are able to handle it. I believe it is very important for them to see that every thing possible is being done.
If they are not able to stay in the room, we will always try to usher them into another room where we can get any pertinent medical history information about the patient. We will let them know that everything possible is being done, but make sure we stay very honest with them. It is very common for a loved one to ask "are they going to be all right?". I will tell them honestly what is happening and that I don't know if they are going to make it or not. Even if we get a heartbeat back, we let them know that they are still in critical condition.
If we are still on the scene working on the patient and they die, we very carefully explain to them that their loved one has died. But our job does not end their, we just switch to the role of support. We help them to contact family members, call their spiritual leaders, and help them to contact a funeral home. I will make sure to answer all their questions to the best of my ability, and will not leave until we are relieved by others that can help them. In our area, that is someone from the police department that helps to finish the arrangements.
So how do we cope dealing with death everyday?
The answer is, we all cope in different ways. I can only tell you what goes through my mind, and how I deal with it.
If the patient has died from a deadly disease and has been suffering a long time, I usually feel relief. On the other hand, if it is someone who has not been sick and suddenly dies from a heart attack, I truly grieve for the family. Children are by far the hardest. After I run a call where a child has died, you will normally find me wearing a pair of sunglasses. It does not matter how long I have done this job, the death of a child will always bring a tear to my eye.
I am very lucky that I have a great wife who is always their for me after I have had a bad shift. I can always talk with her and get it all out of my system. Some of my co-workers are not so lucky. I have had friends at work that have had to quit because they could not take it anymore, and one friend of mine that saw so much death, he committed suicide. He just couldn't cope, and we never saw any warning signs that he was burned out.
We have a team at work that deals with Critical Incident Stress Debriefing. Their function is to be available to all employees to deal with the stress of the job. They will talk with you, try and help you cope, and if it is necessary find you professional help. I know they have saved the career of many of my co-workers.
So how do I cope with a job that forces me to deal with death? The answer is very simple. One day at a time.
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Member: Alan Wenberg
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