To Frat or Not to Frat - An informed opinion
Oct 12 '00
Update 10/12/2000 - I have been reading a lot of anti-fraternity sentiment lately, and some of it comes from people whose opinions I trust. It has prompted me to re-write this opinion and address some of the concerns that others have. If you would like to read some of the opposing viewpoints to which I am referring, I have included their links at the bottom. So, without further ado...
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Okay, I have been reading a lot of these opinions, and I have to say that there are some very strong feelings out there. Let me preface everything that I have to say here by admitting:
1) I was in a fraternity at Penn State
2) I enjoyed the experience - including the parties
3) There are things that I did there that I regret (grades)
4) I would never trade any of it.
My experiences with the Greek system go far beyond just Penn State. I have seen the system at UVA, VA Tech, William and Mary, Cornell, Colorado, N. Arizona and Delaware (so I travel a lot). I know people who have been in fraternities at all of the above and dozens more across the country. I have to say that each system is different, and the majority of my experience is with Penn State's system. But I have some observations that anyone who is considering joining might want to take in, and that the frat/sorority haters might want to consider before writing their diatribes.
#1 RUMOR) Fraternities are a bunch of people that have to buy their friends.
TRUTH) Not so. A fraternity is supposed to be a bunch of guys with ‘mutual esteem and respect’. That means people who think and feel (note – but not necessarily LOOK) like each other. People do it when they rent that 5-bedroom house on the corner. They do it in a 3-bedroom apartment. And they do it – albeit on a much larger scale – in Greek houses. There are dues in a fraternity, but if you join any organization, you are going to be paying. Ever been in an alumni association – dues there. In a professional society you ante up some cash. Other than those, the living expenses are similar to any other living arrangement.
These people are chosen based on how they fit into an existing group. They are being asked to join a group of friends. You can choose not to do it, you can choose to be an independent. And these won’t be your only friends and contacts at your school, so it’s ridiculous to say you are ‘buying your friends’.
BRUTAL TRUTH) Some fraternities’ and sororities’ dues are EXPENSIVE. Ask about it before you join. Some ask for only an initiation fee and a small amount ($25 per year), while others have an annual charge that is much higher. But much of that money also goes to good causes. Keep in mind, these are non-profit organizations, so they aren’t out to make a buck. So, that money goes to running your national, who can help the chapters out in any number of ways – scholarships, mortgage money, educational trusts, emergency money, legal funds. You may never need that money but you aren’t just throwing it away to someone who is trying to get rich.
#2 RUMOR) Fraternities and Sororities are elitists
TRUTH) As with any group which is exclusive, there are episodes of this. I hate to tell you kids, but it happens probably more so WITHIN the Greek system than outside. I know that there are campuses out there which are 80% Greek, making it harder for an outsider to fit in. However, most schools have a significantly smaller percentage of Frat/Sorority people. At Penn State, the percentage is about 15% - just above 1 out of every 8 people at the school.
I can't say that this isn't true of at least a couple of the fraternities that I have known. BUT THIS IS MOSTLY UNTRUE. My friends throughout the Greek system belonged to every economic level, and most joined fraternities because they wanted to. I, like almost everyone else I knew, had a circle of friends outside the fraternities before, during and after I joined. I still do. Many of my friends from both sides still get together and hang out. Elitism is more often a characteristic of a particular house than the Greek system in general.
BRUTAL TRUTH) Some fraternities and sororities are more 'exclusive' than others, and they will discriminate. It might be your appearance, or how much money you come from, or whether you are an athlete or just how ‘cool’ you appear to be. I can’t make any excuses for them. Somehow, thinking someone is a good guy but ‘you know, his parents aren’t in the Yacht Club’ is just wrong in my opinion. Call me narrow-minded, I guess. But it happens, and it can happen often.
Sororities are worse than fraternities in this respect. At Penn State, there are 61 fraternities and 22 sororities. Fraternities average 40 guys, sororities 70 women. Consequently, rush for fraternities is a lot more laid-back. You show up at parties and have time to really know some guys. In sororities, you are given 15 minutes, then a half-hour and finally an hour to meet everyone and make a choice. So, it must be difficult for them to make a choice based on a 1-minute conversation. So, at BEST, many of the choices are going to be superficial. Unless you know someone or make a great first impression, it’s going to be hard for someone to truly remember you.
Fraternity members often do stick together. If you lived with 30 guys that you knew pretty intimately and had known for 1-3 years, don't you think that you would spend a lot of time with them and have a clique? It happens, and it isn't exclusive to fraternities.
#3 RUMOR) People join fraternities just to party
TRUTH) Did we party? Hell, yes! And I loved almost every minute of it. That was part of the college experience, and being in the fraternity made it an easy way to do it. We had a permanent spot to party, we had a controlled environment to do it in, and we had control (for the most part) of who showed up. We had a blast. I still do on alumni weekends. But I had some of my best times hanging in individual rooms on weeknights or before (or after) parties in small groups, talking, playing cards and enjoying the camaraderie that we developed in my years there. (and yes - those 'gatherings' often involved people outside of the fraternity. My roommate and I often had MOVIE NIGHT after parties with a dozen people in our room to watch whatever bad movie we rented that night). I also remember sitting on the Sun Deck during spring and listening to music, barbecuing and playing cards. It isn't all about partying.
BRUTAL TRUTH) Fraternities do often have a LOT going on. Even if your house isn’t partying, there are often small ‘gatherings’ on any given night in a room. And in any group of friends, you will always have those who lose control. I had friends who threw away their whole college careers because they couldn’t find that balance between school and fun. And fraternities are set up for the party scene – large houses with any number of rooms, access to alcohol and a standing tradition. So there ARE people who will gravitate to that scene because of the Animal House image.
#4 RUMOR) Frat parties are just to get people drunk and have sex
TRUTH) Hmmm. This one is a little tougher. Did it happen? Yep. But it happens all over campus, too. Apartments. Dorms. Off-campus houses. People always targeted the fraternities as the pariah of underage drinking, and while it occurs, it isn't unique. Being a 'system' makes it easier to target than to find the apartments and bust them. But at the same time, we were more often in control of a party because we knew what was at stake and had to take measures to ensure that things didn't go insane. Fraternities tend to police themselves, and they need to – insurance, the schools and general opinion require it of them. Apartments and other parties weren't always so safe. I can honestly say that we didn't deliberately destroy our houses - the same can't be said for the rugby parties down the street.
BRUTAL TRUTH) If you go to a frat party, chances are there will be alcohol there in large quantities. And there will be a number of people who are indulging, sometimes to excess. When the blood alcohol level goes up, inhibitions go down and people who are attracted to each other get together. It’s not always right and it’s often ugly, but it’s a fact of life. But there are plenty of other reasons to go to a fraternity or sorority party. First of all, how many other places can you meet upwards of 200 or 300 people in a night? Where else can you have intense social interaction with people that aren’t in your major and hence not in your classes, and who don’t live in the same building with you. There are places, of course, but these parties provide an excellent avenue for these.
#5 RUMOR) Hazing
Truth) Does it occur? Despite what you might hear, it does. Period. The question you have to ask is to what level. Is it friendly stuff, or are they forcing you to finish your own keg. It is a 5-minute embarrassment asking a complete stranger to a party or are you forced to run naked in sub-arctic temperatures.
I was exposed to what is by definition hazing. But you know what, I had fun doing it and if I didn’t, I could have walked away or just said that I didn’t agree with this, and I’m not doing it. It was that simple. I never had to, and I still look and laugh about the trials and tribulations which you went through.
Brutal Truth) As with all things, there are extremes, and you have to know what kind you are getting into. I have heard the horror stories of some initiations and pledge rites including broken fingers, branding and forced puking. I never endured any of that - if I had to, I wouldn't have joined where I did. Period. If there is one extremely valid point that I see in all criticisms of fraternities, it is the hazing issue. It's stupid. Make it creative and fun; forcing someone to drink their weight in Jagermeister doesn't make them closer to you - it brings them closer to the ER.
#6 RUMOR) Fraternity guys fail out of college all of the time
TRUTH) Overall, Greek students beat the overall average consistently across the country, year after year. Because of access to a number of people who are in the same major, or had those same classes before you, you have an advantage of getting some insider info or tutoring. Also, many houses keep test files that you can hit to help you bone up for tests.
There are some people who are mediocre students and for whom the fraternity environment is just asking for trouble. These people will find themselves hanging out instead of studying, and will eventually find themselves looking down the barrel of being suspended for grades. Take into account whether you can handle the distractions or at least have the motivation to walk out of the house if you need to get work done.
BRUTAL TRUTH) Pledging sucks for grades. Despite mandated study hours and supervised class attendance, you are simply way busier than you have ever been and it is tough to get the grades. Not to say that it can't be done (one member of my pledge class had nearly a 4.0), but it's tough. If you are going to pledge, take some of your easier classes with lower time requirements. You'll appreciate it later.
#7 RUMOR) All frat boys are clones.
TRUTH) Okay, there is something to be said for seeing a group of ten guys in boots, backwards hats and the same flannel shirt over the same Abercrombie & Fitch gray logo shirt. (Sorry, CU guys). But believe it or not, there is more often than not more diversity in a fraternity than any apartment could hope to give. In a house of 25 guys, you can have a half-dozen races, a gay member, a few athletes, someone who barely speaks English, several different religions, a cornucopia of majors & interests - and we all got along and lived together. You can barely find that in most towns, let alone in one house.
BRUTAL TRUTH) If you live together, you often start sharing things, acting more like each other, so some similarities are going to be evident – especially since you were trying to get guys that you could get along with to join in the first place, i.e. people somewhat like you.
#8 RUMOR) All sorority girls are... OR All fraternity guys are...
TRUTH) As with all stereotyping, there is a smidgen of something that was true somewhere along the way that may or may not be true anymore. Any time you use generalizations, you are going to find that you are often wrong. I have heard that phrase used with calling sorority girls sluts or teases, or frat boys thugs or a—holes, and you know what, most of the time that person has had ONE experience by which he judges the whole group. Unfortunately, by group I don’t mean even a particular house – I mean the Greek system in general. It’s like having a run in with a football player and saying all athletes are d-cks. Does that make any sense?
BRUTAL TRUTH) Even within the system, stereotypes exist. ‘That house is a bunch of druggies’, ‘So and so sorority is all fat’. And I can’t count the number of times that I find that it is wrong. We had a joke around our house that the place across the street was a bunch of rich-boy panty-waists who couldn’t drink their wallet’s weight and beer and looked funny. But yet, we were always getting in friendly snowball fights with them, joking with them at other parties and generally able to work our way into their house for most events. And most of us had friends over there. AND THAT WAS US AND OUR NEIGHBORS!
There are a lot of stigmas within the Greek system about what a fraternity or a sorority is all about, and it’s sad to that everyone within often gets stereotyped into whatever name, description or caste the rumor places them in. Kind of a microcosm of society, but of some of the worst aspects of it, I guess.
#9 RUMOR) Frats have no redeeming value
TRUTH) Yes, there are aspects of PCU and Animal House and every other stereotype within any house. But there is so much more than that. Unfortunately, many of my relationships outside of the system have died or drifted away. In the house, I built relationships with people that still continue strongly 8 years later. And I am not only talking about my own house. Guys that I knew in other houses also keep in touch. However, my own fraternity brothers are definitely the closest. I have already gone to 4 parties this summer that old fraternity brothers have thrown (these being the more mature versions - not the old style. We are getting older, after all. Plus the wives tend to temper our actions a bit). I talk to them via email or phone almost daily. They have helped me get jobs, get advice, passed news of other friends along, met up with me in various cities, put me up when I came into town - they have been there ever since college and I assume that they will for many more years.
What about the social skills that you develop in a Greek organization? No, I don't mean the ability to coerce someone into a beer bong. There is a valid reason why 70% of all CEO and company Presidents in this country are Greek alumni - because they have learned leadership, social skills and developed the ability to handle a number of things outside of simply scholastic endeavors. Many of our political leaders are ex-fraternity and sorority members (okay, maybe that’s a minus). It says something that the leaders of your country – both economically and politically – have done the Greek thing, doesn’t it? At Penn State, although Greeks only make up 12% of the student population, they control almost 80% of the leadership roles – why? Because they get involved and they strive to begin their careers as leaders.
Then there are the philanthropies. Someone on Epinions mentioned that they have seen philanthropies where no one seems to give a darn. It happens. I have seen corporate fund-raisers with the same problem. But at the same time, fraternities often DO make a difference. Our fraternity had a Xmas party every year for the underprivileged children of Centre County, PA. The look on those kids faces as we and the sorority girls read them stories, or played with the gifts that they received from Santa, or got them cookies was worth all the time that we had to do it. And Dance Marathon - or 'Thon, as it's lovingly called at Penn State - raises millions of dollars every year for cancer research. Last year, dancers from every fraternity & sorority - as well as many non-Greek groups - got together and raised $3 million plus. In one year. (NOTE: for more info, see www.thon.org).
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Final Comments Okay, that's about it for this review - sorry that it is so darned long. I had a bit to vent about. Fraternities aren't perfect. There are some things that need to be changed. But there are a great many things that are good about them, and unfortunately the headlines and the media rarely say anything about them. Schools are vigilantly engaging in efforts to destroy their Greek systems. Many frats are self-destructing by their own, stupid hands. I just hope that some sort of equilibrium can be obtained before it is too late.
The fraternity system at Penn State shaped my life in many ways, almost all of them for the better. I met hundreds of people that I most likely would have never spoken with, let alone gotten to know, without it. I made life-long friends and relationships that hold true through today. I still meet people every week that once we find out that we both went to Penn State, establish a common bond through the Greek system. I still go back to the house on football weekends - and see people that I don't see the majority of the year and catch up on old times and stories.
The people and relationships that I made during those years - and the subsequent ones going back - were worth the pledging (& the associated bad grades), the hangovers, the 10-game pinochle losing streaks, and the calls for donations. It was truly one of the best things that I have ever done. Although they aren't perfect, and they DEFINITELY aren't for everyone, I suggest that you check them out to at least see if they might be for you. Go during off times. In between rush, so that you miss the hype and propaganda. Hang out with guys outside the house, too. Take the whole thing in, keeping in mind what I have said above. It might just change your life - for the better.
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Some statistics about fraternities and sororities (acquired from several sources):
<ul>
<li>A National Conference report shows a majority of the 600 NIC fraternity chapters are above the All-Men's scholastic average.
<li>76% of our nation's Senators are Greek alumni.
<li>40 of 47 U.S. Supreme Court Justices since 1910 were fraternity men.
<li>85% of the top executives in the Fortune 500, including CEO's of 43 of the top 50 companies (luckily, Masatoshi Ono , the CEO of Firestone, is NOT).
<li>71% of the men listed in Who's Who in America are Fraternity men.
<li>All but three U.S. Presidents in the last century were Fraternity men.
<li>Over 85% of the student leaders on some 730 campuses are involved in the Greek community.
<li>A U.S. Government study shows that over 70% of all those who join a fraternity/sororitiy graduate, while under 50% of all non-fraternity/sorority persons graduate.
<li>Less than 2% of an average college student's expenses go toward fraternity dues.
</ul>
Some famous fraternity members: Robert Frost, Johnny Carson, George Bush, David Letterman, Bill Clinton, Anne Klein, Liz Claiborne, Jimmy Buffett, John Elway, Lou Gehrig, Martin Luther King, Jr., Ted Koppel and Neil Armstrong
Opposing Views
drlolipop - http://www.epinions.com/educ-review-77D4-CDCFDE5-3925BD37-prod3
Almighty - http://www.epinions.com/educ-review-77C9-B315DD3-38ADE39F-prod5
and my least favorite Greek opinion (Sorry, Alkaiser - you know your other reviews are great!)
Alkaiser - http://www.epinions.com/educ-review-5BBC-57948AE-389F3D29-prod4
Supporting Views
smiles33 - http://www.epinions.com/educ-review-829-7978465-38FB9825-prod1
tattooedjedi - http://www.epinions.com/educ-review-495A-2EACAB1-38B2C288-prod1
Dionne25 - http://www.epinions.com/educ-review-3B78-D52BBAD-3926EA9E-prod3
healdkw - http://www.epinions.com/educ-review-31C9-97779A1-38A98017-prod6
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Epinions.com ID:
martytdx
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 - Top 200 |
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Member: Marty
Location: New Jersey
Reviews written: 481
Trusted by: 179 members
About Me:
Doing what I can to try new places, restaurants, books and beers.
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