MORE NOTES FROM THE WC W/O:
Jan 15 '04
The Bottom Line Join us, everyone welcome!
THE GREAT UNANNOUNCED OPEN ENDED WRITE OFF
So far, I’ve resisted the temptation to introduce myself via the mega-write off survey sponsored by the lovely sarahlovesadam. I feel like I’m too old for some of the questions.
At my age, there is no way to answer questions like “Do you believe in yourself?”, “Have you ever been in love?”, “Piercing or tattoo?”, “Do you sleep with stuffed animals?” without a certain degree of either pathos or public derision. So I just kicked backed and giggled (yeah, at my age, we still giggle. Want to make something of it?) my way through some of the very funny and some of the very clever responses.
Note to self: If Sarah doesn’t do it, spend an afternoon coming up with a “best of…” list of answers to the questions. Note to Sarah: No, Sarah, you do not need my entry to break the record. If I am not mistaken, you already own the record.
Anyway, I had intended to sit out this whole thing until my favorite reviewer Ed_Grover (who was the first “power” reviewer to trust me on Eps) joined this survey---brought to us courtesy of Ada Davis. Ed’s review, by the way, is at http://www.epinions.com/content_3711410308.
These questions are a lot easier to answer:
1. If you had to choose, which would you rather have: herpes, a root canal, a computer virus, a colonoscopy, or a polygraph?
The Polygraph. I’m a lawyer. So long as I’m on a retainer, the machine won’t stand a chance.
2. If you could go back in time and do one thing over, what would it be?
Finish high school instead of jumping into University.
3. If you could only have one food item and one drink for every meal for the next month, what would they be?
Egg rolls and diet coke. You can dip the egg roll in the diet coke, you know. No kidding. Try it.
4. What do you usually leave in - a Huff? a Tizzy? the bed of a beat-up pickup? a High Dudgeon or a stretch limo? What?
In a Tizzy, throwing a Hizzy fit.
5. You open up a bottle and instead of beer, you get a jjin. Standard three wish deal. What do you wish for? (And the first person who says "World peace" will be tracked down like a dog, eviscerated, and strangled with his/her own intestines. You have been warned.)
I. Writing Talent
II. Musical Talent
III. That my kids lead meaningful lives.
6. You just inherited/won $1 Billion. What do you do for the next 24 hours?
Hide it, then book a flight to NASA’s moon station.
7. Of all of the voices in your head, which is your favorite?
The one I write with.
8. If you could attend your own funeral and give the eulogy, what would you say?
Sorry, dear, I won’t be able to look after the kids tonight…
9. Name an actor, performer, talking head, or public figure that you just can't stand.
Gallagher. Ron Jeremy in a beret smashing watermelons with sledge hammers was not funny even the first 20 times that I saw it.
10. You are leaving tomorrow for a 6-week stay in the 12th century. What do you pack?
A couple of pens, paper, a camera, Brita water filter, antibiotics, toilet paper, lamp and batteries, maybe my trusty uzi…
11. Name something small that really annoys you.
Lego pieces. No matter how often I ask my kids to pick them up, I always end up stepping on a piece.
12. What's the bravest thing you have ever done?
Fold my company.
13. What is the dumbest thing you have ever done?
Sign a bank guarantee.
14. What assumptions do people make about you that are wrong?
That I’m a sex machine. No, really…
15. If you had a building named after you, what would be in it?
My harem. OK, not in front of my wife and kids…I meant a children’s museum.
16. It is the year 2024. What kind of computer are you using?
Whatever runs Moon Base USA.
17. When your pet looks at you, what is it thinking?
Feed me.
18. If you were forced to move to another country, where would you go?
Australia. Just like California, except with deadlier critters.
19. Okay, 'fess up. What did you do that made it necessary to move to another country?
See first part of answer to Q.6.
20. Zen space. Make up a question and provide your own answer.
Hear that?
That was the sound of one hand clapping.
If you’d like the find the rules to the write off, or join this laid back W/O, click here and scroll to the bottom.
Thanks Ada, I had a great time with this survey!
Dean
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Epinions.com ID:
dhandforth
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Member: Dean Handforth
Location: Pasadena, CA
Reviews written: 103
Trusted by: 35 members
About Me:
"Those who would trade liberty for security will have neither..." James Madison
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