Best Lines in Film History - updated 31.07.08
Nov 28 '03 (Updated Jul 31 '08)
The Bottom Line Looking for some of the best lines in film history, are you?
Found them you have!
Neeheheheheheheheheheheheeeeee....
(Everyone loves Yoda)
My favourite lines from the films I’ve seen (in no particular order as that’s just ridiculous!) – you’ll almost certainly have seen all or most of them too… oh and there are definitely more than 10 of them!! ;-D
I may not have got all of them exactly verbatim, but knowing my normal bunch of readers it won’t take long before all of them are pointed out to me! :-O
“I’ll be back” – Arnie in Terminator 2 – he was back, but now he’s off to be Governor of California… no-one could have seen that coming – this is now one of the most overused phrases in history, of course…
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The Two Towers
Also from that film:
Gandalf: "The fate of the world will now be decided."
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Sam: What we need is a few good taters.
Gollum: What's taters, precious? What's taters, eh?
Sam: *Po-tay-toes!* Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew... Lovely big golden chips with a nice piece of fried fish.
[Gollum makes a noise of disgust while sticking his tongue out]
Sam: Even you couldn't say no to that.
Gollum: Oh yes we could. Spoilin' nice fish. Give it to us raw and w-r-r-riggling; you keep nasty chips.
Sam: You're hopeless.
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Gollum: Stupid fat hobbit...
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Gollum: Myyy PRECIOUSSS.
(Sorry, just had to include that one!!)
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Gimli: “I can’t see anything! What’s happening?”
Legolas: ”Would you like me to get you a box?”
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Some from The Empire Strikes Back
Princess Leia: Why, you stuck up, half-witted, scruffy-looking nerf-herder.
Han Solo: Who's scruffy-looking?
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Yoda (small wrinkly mad green thing): Looking for someone, are you? Found someone you have!
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C-3PO: Sir, the possibility of successfully navigating an asteroid field is approximately 3,720 to 1.
Han Solo: Never tell me the odds!
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Darth Vader: The force is with you, young Skywalker, but you are not a Jedi yet.
(Cheesy yet somehow cool...)
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Princess Leia: I'll be back.
(Who knew Leia said it first?!?!?)
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Yoda: Control, control, you must learn control!
(He's a very short-tempred small mad green thing...)
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Princess Leia: You have your moments. Not many of them, but you do have them.
(She loves Han really...)
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Princess Leia: You're not actually going IN to an asteroid field?
Han Solo: They'd be crazy to follow us, wouldn't they?
(But remember... don't tell him the odds...)
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“You’ll never beat me, ‘cos I’m smarter” – “Yeah, but I’m Taller!!” - Keanu Reeves finds that intellectual inferiority is not always a disastrous disadvantage as he uses his height advantage to give baddie Dennis Hopper a gruesome end in Speed.
And another from that film, this time uttered by Sandra Bullock:
“You know what they say about relationships based on intense emotional experiences” (Keanu said that bit) – “Well I guess we’ll have to base it on sex instead!”
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Oh no it’s another Keanu moment, this time from the original Matrix film, but again he’s on the receiving end:
Oracle: “You’re cuter than I thought you’d be. I’m not surprised she likes you.”
Neo: “Who?”
Oracle: ”Not too bright though…”
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Cutting Edge
Anton: Man and woman together make flower. Douglas, you are stem. Katya, you are petal. Together, we make flower.
(You've got to love crazy cranky old Russian figure-skating coaches!)
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Hale: I don't like to see her upset.
Doug: If I was you, I'd invest in blindfolds.
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Kate: If you're so bored, why don't you read?
Doug: You mean like a book?
Kate: That is the generally accepted format, yes.
Kate: What was the last book you read? You were in college?
Doug: The last thing I read in college was a letter canceling my scholarship when I couldn't play anymore.
Kate: Okay, high school.
Doug: I was a hockey player. The only thing I had to read was a scoreboard.
Kate: And they graduated you?
Doug: They revered me. I was a God.
Kate: What a tragic commentary on our times.
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This one just had to be included… ”That’s another fine mess you’ve gotten us into!” - from countless Laurel and Hardy movies… well probably every one!
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Some lines from The Three Amigos that really tickled me:
Lucky Day: Well, we're just gonna have to use our brains.
Ned Nederlander, Dusty Bottoms: Damn it!
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Jefe: I have put many beautiful pinatas in the storeroom, each of them filled with little suprises.
El Guapo: Many pinatas?
Jefe: Oh yes, many!
El Guapo: Would you say I have a plethora of pinatas?
Jefe: A what?
El Guapo: A *plethora*.
Jefe: Oh yes, you have a plethora.
El Guapo: Jefe, what is a plethora?
Jefe: Why, El Guapo?
El Guapo: Well, you told me I have a plethora. And I just would like to know if you know what a plethora is. I would not like to think that a person would tell someone he has a plethora, and then find out that that person has *no idea* what it means to have a plethora.
Jefe: Forgive me, El Guapo. I know that I, Jefe, do not have your superior intellect and education. But could it be that once again, you are angry at something else, and are looking to take it out on me?
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Bartender: We don't have beer. Just tequila.
Ned Nederlander: What's tequila?
Bartender: Uh, it's like beer.
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(Upon coming up to a bush lustily singing, “She’ll be coming round the mountain when she comes) - ”Excuse me, are you the singing bush?”
(Upon the three shouting the chant to raise the Invisible Swordsman, with the last member not believing it, shooting casually at hip height, followed by a scream and a thud) - "Oh, great. You killed the invisible swordsman!"
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El Guapo: Jefe, you do not understand women. You cannot force open the petals of a flower. When the flower is ready, it opens itself up to you.
Jefe: So when do you think Carmen will open up her flower to you?
El Guapo: Tonight, or I will kill her!
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From Star Wars: A New Hope:
[repeated line]
C-3PO: [to R2-D2] This is all your fault.
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Princess Leia: I don't know who you are or where you've come from, but from now on you'll do as I say, okay?
(Tsk... typical woman...)
Han Solo: Look, Your Worshipfulness, let's get one thing straight. I take orders from just one person: me.
Princess Leia: It's a wonder you're still alive.
[Pushing past Chewbacca]
Princess Leia: Will someone get this big walking carpet out of my way?
Han Solo: No reward is worth this.
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Obi-Wan: That's no moon. It's a space station.
(Duh...)
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C-3PO: We're doomed.
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Han Solo: Wonderful girl. Either I'm going to kill her or I'm beginning to like her.
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Princess Leia: Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?
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Han Solo: Damn fool, I knew you were going to say that.
Obi-Wan: Who's the more foolish: The fool, or the fool who follows him?
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Han Solo: Garbage chute. Really wonderful idea. What an incredible smell you've discovered!
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Gladiator
Did nearly the whole review in quotes for a write off... here are some of the best:
"Today I saw a slave become more powerful than the Emperor of Rome."
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"People should know when they are conquered."
"Would you? Would I?"
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"Are you in danger of becoming a good man?!?"
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I've now started redoing this and will slowly be adding more quotes. Watch this space!
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Read my Top Ten Movies of All Time list
CaptainD
http://www.darscom.net
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