Holiday Inn Rochester-Chatham: I wanted to go home!
Written: Aug 15 '04 (Updated Aug 15 '04)
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Product Rating:
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Pros: The bed was comfortable.
Cons: Location, no air-conditioning, little respect for guests. An embarrassment to the brand, in conclusion.
The Bottom Line: I really hate putting hotels down - if they try. I don't have a problem saying that I really wanted to leave this place within 30 minutes of check-in!
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| andymcf's Full Review: Holiday Inn Rocheste Chatham |
In all walks of life, there are posts you'd really like to hold - and those that you really wouldn't. Being the manager of Harrods, for instance, surely has to knock the socks off being the manager of a local ASDA (aka Walmart) supermarket, and being President of the USA (however bad a job you may happen to have done) holds, I'd imagine, somewhat more kudos, surely, than being a member of a rather small and insignificant village parish council in the UK. Let's face it, we've all got to start somewhere. Much the same, I guess, with hotel management. This is a place, I'm sure, in which you'd really hate to have to confess to having ended up.
I was wondering how, quite, to properly review this hotel. To be honest and succinct, it was really quite horrible and - being fairly near our home - we considered simply checking out and going back. That's the discerning guest's viewpoint, at least. Possibly foolishly, we stuck (or sweated) it out. Goodness only knows why! Possibly because we'd pre-paid and there was no get-out clause. Pity! My evening was spent empathising with those who, on dying, take the downwards elevator. This was certainly not paradise in any shape or form.
In deciding to sympathise with the manager, however, I'm trying to be kind rather than cruel whilst steering you away, ever-so very discretely, in the process. After all, I just cannot bear reviews that simply say "Do not stay here". I'm far more subtle by instinct. I much prefer saying "I, personally, really wouldn't stay here again if you paid me a thousand dollars - but do, by all means, make your own mind up". Far less slanderous, and I'm treating you as a more intelligent reader. Make up your own mind!
I'll base my review this time, therefore, from the eyes of a hotel manager who is, let's hope, on the very first rung of the hotel management ladder rather than from those of a seasoned hotel visitor who could, frankly, have done better blindfolded. If the manager were, in fact, rather more experienced, then I apologise for assuming otherwise.
Into Manager-mode, then - Here we go....
I'm really pleased. I'm the Lord of all I survey. OK, it's a Holiday Inn in a location that no sane person would choose to take a holiday, but - Hey! - I've received quite a few internet bookings tonight and have a booking for a very rowdy wedding party. I haven't had to sell the place at all. Though my hotel is somewhat architecturally bankrupt, my car park has plenty of spaces and my hotel looks modern and is low-level. It's situated right next door to a small aerodrome which, although it's of absolutely no use to anybody who's actually travelling anywhere, is absolutely great for plane-spotters. It's a really hot and sticky day today - the hottest and most humid day of the year, in fact - and I'm aware that, although reception is air-conditioned, the bedrooms are not. The guests can just open the windows. We're nearly full, and we aren't expecting any hotel inspectors.
Nor are we expecting an independent hotel reviewer, let alone one with a broken leg, on crutches.
Yet, unfortunately, one such reviewer arrives and hobbles across the car park and through the automatic doors. Glancing across at the excellent leisure club with swimming pool and jacuzzi, he was surprised to have to hobble down two flights of stairs to reception.
I'm proud of the way that my receptionists checked him in quickly (he's a Gold Priority Club Member, after all) - although, in retrospect, I'm slightly surprised to note that they put him in a room which is deficient in two major ways. Firstly, having noted that he's having some serious difficulty with his crutches, they decided to put him in the very, very most distant room possible. Secondly, his room is as close as it could possibly be to the wedding disco. Oh - and the open air courtyard from which the bar spills out our most noisy guests is right below his window. And we've got some really raucous ones tonight! If he looks out of the room, he'll see my office - hardly a fantastic vista! The question (since there's no air-conditioning whatsoever) is: will he leave the window open and put up with the disco noise until it finally finishes sometime after midnight, or will he shut it (it'll keep out some of the noise, after all) and die of heat exhaustion? And look - he's got a two-year old kid with him! That'll be fun! He'll be up all night!
We run a restaurant, "Traders", and a bar of the same name. He decided to order room service instead. Fool! The chef is clearly far, far too busy catering for the wedding - but didn't decline the challenge to provide a dire meal on the side. OK - so it was just an omelette, but we managed to really screw up! Luckily, the rooms are ensuite and he apparently spent most of the night on the loo, after the awful meal! Exited out of both ends, apparently! Still, he came back for more - and ordered breakfast in bed, thinking it might be a luxury! Mad fool! If inefficiency is not our middle name, I'm a Dutchman - so we managed to send up the wrong jams, no milk for the cereals and sent spoons instead of knives. Spoilsports that they were, they 'phoned back and asked for the corrections. We sent them up eventually. Apparently they couldn't spread the wrong jam on the croissants with spoons. Sheesh! I ask you.....
I really can't figure it out. Bad location. Disabled-unfriendly room, no air-conditioning on a really hot, muggy day, truly awful room-service food, incompetent breakfast service, noisy wedding disco until after midnight at the expense of all other guests. What more do they want? We even made sure that the carpet was grubby.
There are two things I don't understand. Why won't they be visiting again? And why I am not running a more prestigious hotel than this one?
Slipping, for a moment, out of manager mode, I cannot begin to think why!
I really hate the phrase "Never, never again!" as a hotel review's title. I think, however, that in this case it would be totally justified.
The Bridgewood Manor hotel, just down the road, is, incidentally, far, far better and usually retails at an equal, if not better, price. Just thought I'd add that!
Andrew
Recommended:
No
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Epinions.com ID:
andymcf
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Member: Andrew McFall
Location: Canterbury, Kent, England
Reviews written: 74
Trusted by: 132 members
About Me:
Maths teacher. Father of young Josh. See below!
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